Why I can’t watch Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them again.

Okay, I thought Fantastic Beasts was a pretty good movie. I’ve already spoken about my hatred for prequels, but they is sort of done right. While we know the ultimate fate of Grindelwald. Everyone else around him is a new character, so we don’t know how it ends for them.

However, they is one scene, just one, that infuriates me so much I have no drive to ever which the movie again. It’s not the ending, it’s not some form of humour derived from embarrassment, no.

It’s the god damn execution scene!

Oh sweet jesus that scene boils my blood. When I saw it I was screaming at the screen. Texting my girlfriend as it happened. I was enraged.


And it wasn’t the fact that they had a death penalty. It was the way they carry out that sentence in the film… barbaric isn’t a term I’d use because it’s too nice!

They effectively trick a person into LOWERING THEMSELVES into a pool of living death. They pull their memories out which putting them into what I can only describe as a dazed trance and urge them to lower themselves into the pool where their memories are!

And if that wasn’t bad enough, the bitch that was urging the character into the pool did so WITH A SMILE OR HER FACE! “Doesn’t that look good!” Was her exact comment.

VOLDEMORT WAS MORE HUMANE, AND HE WAS THE VILLAIN!

I’m not saying they should use the killing curse, believe it or not I do understand the reason why that’s not used. But that style of execution… It’s akin to drugging someone and egging them on to kill themselves, and doing so with a smile. It’s not something a person should ever do.

And I know; “it’s just a movie.” yeah yeah, I get it. But it’s a scene that has made the movie hard, if not impossible to rewatch. Delores Umbridge will forever be the Potter character I hate the most, but miss “Doesn’t that look good!” is a close second. Anyone that can carry out THAT form of execution with a smile on there face… Voldemort is evil, she is worse.

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Ghost in the Shell – Box Office Flop?

The box office failure of Ghost in the Shell had nothing to do with Scarlet Johansson as the lead. Anyone that watched/read GitS understood that the ethnicity of the Major’s “shell” was inconsequential. No, it’s failure comes from the fact that animation (east AND west) is notoriously difficult to adapt to live action. And the fact they tried to adapt from the MOVIE of GitS. Which, in reality was not a good film.
Had they not focused on the Major, done a proper detective plot with section 9 and featured the Tachikoma’s. I think it would have done a lot better.
Full disclaimer: No I haven’t seen the film, I really don’t want to since the trailers make it look wholly unappealing.

The uniqueness of video games. (Endings Rant)

Comedian Dara o’Briain has a really funny comedy bit about how games are unique art form in that if your bad at it, it locks you out the rest of the story. A movie doesn’t stop half way and pop quiz you, then deny you the rest of the movie if you get answers wrong. But get a game over on a game and you’re back to the start. It’s a funny bit.

Now, after finally beating Seraph I came to a realisation. Movies don’t just end after the bad guy is beat. Books don’t just end after the final conflict. Stories have endings and epilogues that complete the story.

WHY THE FUCK DO GAME DEVS THINK THEY DON’T NEED TO DO THIS!

Seraph just ends, just fucking ends. it give you the option to join or destroy the boss. and no matter what choice you make the game well just stop, roll credits and return to menu. It gives you NOTHING!

This would be fine if it was a game that’s didn’t have a narrative. But the game goes has a really good narrative where making that final choice actually means something.

UNFORTUNITLY THE DEVS DECIDED TO JUST EXCLAIM FUCK IT AND NOT BOTHER WITH AN ENDING.

And no, there is no excuse, no “artistic choice” that would explain this bullshit other than laziness. I’ve ranted before about how endings matter. and that was complaining about shit endings. But at least a bad ending is still a fucking ending.

It’s fucking stupid that they even contemplated doing this let alone actually do it.

“We’ve written an interesting story, how do we end it though?”
“Let’s not, lets just cut the credits, and let them decide what happens!”
“Genius, that way we don’t need to do any work!”

Either finish your story or don’t have one. There’s a reason no one liked the ending to The Sopranos. BECAUSE IT WASN’T A FUCKING ENDING.

Ghost 1.0 and the ignorance of history.

So I bought Ghost 1.0 in the Steam winter sale. I was quite happily playing it until I hit 1 cutscene.

While this hasn’t spoiled the game for me or anything. I find it’s a symptom of an issue the industry has been experiencing of late.

In the cutscene two character are talking about if history would see their exploits turned into a video game in an attempt to be meta.

The response is that it would be unlikely because video game protagonists are hunks, white, and male. and he was fat, his friend was black, and the third member (the one actually doing the work) was female.

WHAT

THE

FUCK

Now, I’m not going to argue that there are a boat load of “white men” as game protagonists. However. trying to pull that shit when the game is tagged as a “Metroidvania” game is fucking retarded. Since the Metroid portion of that tag refers to a game series that has always had a badass female protagonist.

Let’s list games list some games whose protagonist are either, none-built, non-white, or female shall we. An extensive list isn’t hard to find, but off the top of my head:

Tomb Raider SERIES: At least 10 games, all with female protagonist.
GTA: San Andreas: Black protagonist, and can be made fat if desired.
Portal & Portal 2: Female protagonist.
The Shantea games: 4 games all with a female protagonist.
Assassin’s Creed: Liberation: Protagonist is a black female.
Assassin’s Creed 3: Protagonist is Native American.
Infamous: Second Son: Protagonist is Native American.
Sleeping Dogs: Protagonist is Asian.

And this isn’t going into games with multiple protagonists, beat’em ups or the myriad of games with a create a character feature.

You want to think there’s too many “white males” in video games? That’s fine, make games where that isn’t the case. But question: Who the fuck are you to dictate what race and gender should be the protagonist in someone else’s game?

I’m going to finish with a simple comment.

I am a disabled straight white male. Yet I don’t need the protagonist to be disabled, straight, white, or male to identify with them. If you are bitching that you can’t identify with the protagonist because they’re not of your race, gender, or sexuality. Then the problem lies with you, not the game.

Whenever I go to therapy I have to fill in a form that asks how I’ve felt in the last two weeks.

On of the questions asked how often I’ve had suicidal thoughts or thought about hurting myself in some way.

I’ve stated several times that I would never do those things, and I still feel that way.

But right now… I don’t relish filling in that question.

So this tripe appeared on my Twitter feed.

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The tripe above was retweeted by someone I know and appeared on my Twitter. The original poster was from some harry potter “fandom” account., and I use ” “, cause anyone who believes that shit isn’t a fan of Harry Potter, nor understand actual humans.

Now I’ve only see the movies so my knowledge of the Potter world is limited but I’m going to have a say anyway.

First point: the Weasley’s don’t have a house elf. We can take from this that you know, maybe they don’t agree with them. A maybe there’s nothing wrong with letting people serve IF THEY WANT TO, and the issue isn’t slavery per say, but the ill treatment some elves suffer though SEE GODDAMN DOBBY!

Point Two: Werewolves. the children are taught that werewolves are dangerous. Because, as Sirius, and even Lupin will attest to. WEREWOLVES DON’T HAVE MUCH CONTROL WHEN THEY’VE TRANSFORMED. So maybe, JUST MAYBE, his desire to not be touched by Lupin was him not wanting to risk being attacked. IE IT’S UNDERSTANDABLE AT THE MOMENT IT HAPPENED! He warms up to Lupin once he himself calms down and can take stock. Fear and adrenalin doesn’t just switch off when danger has past, it’s lingers.

Speaking of fear

Point the Third: Ron being uncomfortable around Hagrid. Ron meets Hagrid when he is 10. At 10 regular adults are tall to you. So coming across a half-giant who is about twice the size of a regular adult. Would be MASSIVLY intimidating, and would make ANY child uncomfortable.

As much as J K Rowling did a great thing with the books. Over analysing every single line for context that isn’t there helps no one. And what’s worse with shit like this; Is that the authors themselves just need to sitting and nod, claiming that’s what they were going for, and people will eat it up.

News Flash. Things are NOT that nuanced. Sometimes a banana, is just a banana. Deal with it.

Vent over.

I’m having trouble

I’m really having a hard time dealing with stuff right now. It’s 3am, I know I should go to bed, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. I am so frustrated with the world right now. I look at my Facebook feed, and videos on YouTube and all I see is retardation. I can’t believe the stuff I see, the things people say… they defy belief.

Yesterday I saw someone say that prostate cancer was a first world problem and that men should just deal with it! FUCKING CANCER! How can ANYONE believe that? Seriously!?

I have to step back, I know I have to, but I’m not sure I can. I know that isolating myself from everything is a TERRIBLE idea. I can’t even cut out the particularly bad part of my social existence because they’re intertwined with some of the good parts. I’ve thought about deactivating my Facebook, (I already avoid posting on it) but I can’t because its the only way I can talk to some of my friends. YouTube, no matter how hard I try to filter the bullshit it’ll still manage to seep through. Couple that with the fact that it is my primary form of entertainment (that’s not video games) and if I tried to step back from it I’d be left with nothing.

I just don’t know what to do.

PS. If anyone reads this I thinks I might hurt myself, please don’t, I want to squash that thought right now. I know their are people that care for me and I couldn’t put them through that.

Sight of pure beauty.

Whenever I hear people complain about “unrealistic” armour in video games I just roll me eyes, for two reasons.

1: It’s a game, fiction, realism isn’t necessity.
and
2: It’s someone’s aesthetic choice of how something looks within this world, who are you to tell someone how something should look in a world of their own creation. If they ask for your opinion, fine, but otherwise STFU.

Why do I bring this up? Because the reason I roll my eyes. I’m of the strong belief something don’t need to be skimpy or show skin to be sexy. If the artist or designer chooses to make it like that, that’s their choice. But personally, sexy doesn’t equal skin.

Case and point:

20160719105009_1

The Archon Armour from XCom 2 is one of the sexiest pieces of protection I’ve seen in video games. Just look at it. The default colour isn’t pink, it’s just the scheme of the soldier I’m using. The armour though… wow, I love it, and I normally hate headgear like that. Everything about the armour just works though.

Absolutely gorgeous.

 

Kid Flash costume revealed.

So the Kid Flash costume of the Flash TV as been revealed and… I don’t hate it.

Honestly, I looks at it and thought something looked off. Then I remembered the Kid Flash costumes I’ve seen and its pretty much exactly how I would say a life action version of the costume should look. The thing that looked off for me, was the hair. I was used to seeing a thick red slick back. Not something we can have with Keiynan Lonsdale, nor should we want it. He’s done a pretty good job as Wally West in my opinion. And I’m quite looking forward to seeing how things go with him in the role of speedster.

There is however one issue I have. The name Kid Flash, Keiynan Lonsdale is 25, Grant Gustin is 26. even if they’re trying to play younger/older characters they’re ages are obviously close just by looking at them, they’re are playing brothers (albeit adopted) that are around similar ages. A slightly more fitting name would be Impulse, it being Bart Allen’s original name when he was Wally’s sidekick in the comics.

I’ve really started to get a hate on for Bethesda

At least where the Fallout and Elder Scrolls are concerned anyway.


I decided to make a male character on Fallout 4. I normally only make Male characters in games if there’s a romance I really want to do. The main reason is, well, simply woman look better than men to me.

Anyway I make my character, he’s got a ronan look, stubble, long hair tied in a knot at the back. Looks awesome. Now, because the Male roll is always that of an ex-soldier, with the female being that of a lawyer. (Meathead male, smart female stereotype anyone?) I thought that this time I might do some of the Brotherhood of Steel content since normally I don’t go near them.

I know a lot of people love the BoS and while in F3 and NV they weren’t total arseholes. In Fallout 4 they come across as massively bigoted dicks so I gave them a wide birth.

However. Upon running into Paladin Danse I help fend off the ghoul horde and… the game glitches. Danse just stands there as if there are still more ghouls to kill.

One of the 4 main storylines has a game breaking bug that prevents you from playing that storyline. one of the MAIN STORYLINES! How the flying FUCK was that not caught in QA, or failing that, patched before now, cause checking the message boards I’m not alone in finding this bug. I’ve ragged on Bethesda a lot but come on, how can you fuck up a main quest mission?

Now I’m playing the PC version, and indeed there is a console command solution for this issue, however. using console commands to further main quests messes up the subsequent quests. Meaning I can’t even use that to solve the issue cause it bugs out the later quests.


This got me thinking of other moments of sheer idiocy in the Fallout franchise. One very specific moment. Fawkes hand waving of logic pre Broken Steel, Fallout 3.

For those that have never experienced this moment to face palming stupidity. In the original ending to Fallout 3 there was 2 choices. Either you entered the chamber and died of radiation poisoning, or Lady Lyons entered the chamber and died of radiation poisoning. Now, prior to that in the plot you met a rather helpful super mutant by the name of Fawkes. Who retrieved the G.E.C.K for you because he’s immune to radiation.

You see where I’m going with this don’t you? “Hey I’ll just bring Fawkes with me and ask him to enter the chamber, everybody lives!” and indeed there is an opinion to ask him, and what is his reply?

ant-fo3-fawkes

BITCH THAT MEANS I DIE! I don’t give a flying fuck about destiny! You’re immune to radiation, I’m not!

In Fallout 4 Piper mentions there was once a hole in the walls of Diamond City that was patched with nothing more than a bookcase. This here, is the plot equivalent. A plot hole so thinly patched that you can’t believe anyone thought it was hold up.